


stars breathe

by unstablesheis



Category: SHINee
Genre: Angst, Depression, Mental Illness, im sorry, in memory of kim jonghyun, rest in peace Jonghyun, thank you, trigger warning, you did well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-17 22:38:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13086882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unstablesheis/pseuds/unstablesheis
Summary: but right now he's with the stars. watching. shining. happy.— in memory of kim jonghyun





	stars breathe

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning! 
> 
> i don't know if this short one shot will do any justice, i just i'm sad— sad is an understatement and i wasn't even a hardcore shawol but i did love shinee and their songs. my best friend is an avid fan and i haven't seen her for almost a year so i could only imagine how hard this news is for her. i hope you all are staying strong and if you want someone to talk to, you can always reach out to me. 
> 
> jonghyun was an inspiration, still is,  and he had helped many of us through their music and in so many other ways. however, they are humans too and sometimes they also need our help.  
> 
> let us all remember him as the amazing and inspiring person that he is. may you rest in peace, jonghyun. you did very well. more than very well. we will miss you and you will always stay in our hearts. 

 

the darkness grows. 

the emptiness of the room becoming painfully evident as the dark descends, all the voices, all the whispers that screams, that echoes within the walls and it's suffocating him, chest heaving and heavy. claws are scratching at his throat, closing, clenching. **he couldn't breathe.** he wants to breathe. 

he slams the door open, hands fumbling for his phone. trembling, shivering, heart beating wildly against his chest and his fingers moved on his own. he's sorry, really.

and his scared at the sudden strength that pushes him to the edge. he'd been looking for this. waiting for this because it will always be hard to end something and anything and despite his weariness, he'd always find it hard to cut his ties. to rest. to find peace. to end everything. to end all possibilities because he's tired of each and every one of them.  

he just wants to finally be free. 

 

   
\- - - 

  
   
   
the flickers of light barely reached him. 

like the hope he used to cling to and its funny, its december. what would change next year? isn't it the same old thing. the same old painful days. the same nights of suffocation, drowning in sadness and its hard because he can't breathe. he just wants to. 

he tried, really, he did. 

   
what would change if he's gone?   
   
   
to him,   **nothing**. 

 

  
\- - -

 

 

he's finally floating. 

on air. above water. up the skies. it doesn't matter. 

what matters is **he felt free.** light. everything blurry and out of shape, abstract. relief floods his system, a sense of calmness that he longed before and its here, its here. he's ecstatic. 

the ringing on his ears wouldn't stop though he could barely hear sirens. police sirens? 

not sure. its too late anyways. let him be. let him go. 

**its too late.**

 

   
\- - -

  
   
   
_i'm sorry_

_i'm sorry_

  
he's sorry about a lot of things. 

he's sorry for being weak. he's sorry he couldn't take it and be strong. he's sorry he's making everyone cry. he's sorry he couldn't help them this time. he's sorry for everything and he's sorry for leaving. 

**he hopes he did well.**

but right now he's with the stars. watching. shining. happy. 

he's finally at peace, glittering. he lived well, right? 

   
**he hopes everyone can also be happy.**

   
   
   
   
 

  
   
**_in memory of kim jonghyun._**  
  


 

  
\- - - 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> [a/n] : rest in peace, kim jonghyun. you are loved. 
> 
> i am in no way aware of what jonghyun thought in his last moments and this is purely fictional. i mostly based this in how i am feeling in all the days that that sadness just hits me without notice and there are really times when we all feel like ending just everything. 
> 
> if this fic bothers you in anyway or it may seem rude, i'm very sorry and please feel free to tell me so i can take it down.


End file.
